Those that dance . . .

I was just responding to a post on a writer's loop and caught sight of my sig line. I'd forgotten that I'd included a quote from the comedian George Carlin.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the
music.

It sums up my 2007. I've been dancing away only to be surprised to find that others considered me insane - or variations on that theme. It's quite a shock!

The other day I caught a little bit of the Ellen DeGeneres show and saw her do a bit on "what if there were no mirrors"? So what does that have to do with dancing and insanity?

When I see myself in the mirror of other people's perceptions, I'm always a little surprised - whether their perceptions are good or bad. And it leads to wondering how much to heart should I (or anybody) take those reflections? Particularly when it comes to me as a writer.

2007 wasn't a banner year in my writing life. I left a long-time critique group over disagreements about "the best" approach to writing. Angry words were served up on all sides and friendships ruined. In hindsight I can see that the whole thing was really more about control than about writing.

I regret losing the friendships but not leaving the critique group because in leaving I discovered that I'd been acting like a chamelon - twisting myself into knots trying to please everyone while at the same time trying to stay true to the stories that are in me. The approval of my writing buddies was taking on more importance than my writing. The personal dissonance took a heavy toll.

2008 will be better. Hope springs eternal, and so we writers plunge ahead. We will continue to struggle with the dichotomy of wanting/needing approval and staying true to our stories, the stories in our heads and hearts. But this year I think I'm a little wiser and stronger in knowing where the line between the two needs to be drawn.