Around 16% of RWA members are published in book-length romance fiction. That means that roughly 84% aren’t. It doesn’t appear that those published in novellas or anthologies are included in those numbers. So it’s not clear what the number for un-published RWA members is.

Just for the sake of argument, let’s say that another 16% are published in non-book length romance fiction and say that number includes those that are published by non-recognized publishers.

That leaves roughly 68% of RWA members who are not published in any form of romance fiction.

Why do we keep doing this?

My guess is that most romance writers would say they keep at it because they can’t not write – they’ve got a story to tell and they won’t have peace until they tell it. They’re happier when they’re writing. They enjoy the camaraderie, the sense of belonging when they’re with other writers. Having an outlet for their creative energy makes the other areas of their lives better too. (At least those are my reasons and the reasons I’ve heard dozens of other unpublished writers say again and again.)

Why do so many of us get stuck?

We go to RWA Chapter meetings. We go to conferences and enter contests. We start stories and polish those first three chapters until they shine.

Then we stall. We struggle to keep moving. We let a hundred and one other things steal away our writing time.

And then because we’re all this strange mixture of ego and insecurity, we beat ourselves up because we’re not writing. We cast about for the magic ‘thing’ that will solve our writing woes. The perfect plotting tool. The secret to effective self-editing. The magic motivator that will wipe away the procrastination and self-doubt.

Realistically, we all know there is no magic ‘thing’. There is only putting one foot in front of the other, moving forward one step at a time.

It’s tiring though, isn’t it? Wears you down to work and work only to be rejected again and again. In some respects getting one “good” rejection after another is almost worse because you know you’re getting closer. You just don’t know how close – a few months or a few more years?

I don’t know about you, but I’m one of those writers that doesn’t really have a writing cheerleader. Oh, my family is supportive. They make the right kinds of expressions and feign interest when I talk about writing. (I’m sure when I sell that they’ll swell with pride and push my book(s) on all their friends) My writer friends have to be supportive of me just like I’m morally obligated to be supportive of them. What kind of people would we be if we stomped on each other’s dreams?

How can we help our fellow writers that are struggling in that “slough of despond”?

In thinking about the answer to that question, I’m reminded of a colleague who attended training on working with adult learners. She came back talking about the need to distinguish between a value and a standard.

For example, my work ethic includes the belief that one should keep their personal calls at work to a minimum. That’s a value. If my employer has a policy about keeping personal calls at work to a minimum that’s a standard. When my values and the standards mesh everything is good. When they differ, I have to be careful not to judge those around me by my values. I have to be careful not to look down on a co-worker because she spends more time at work on personal calls than I think appropriate. If I do, I’m expecting her to live by my values – I’m judging her.

How does this apply to writing?

Writing and submitting in order to get published is a standard because it’s impossible to get published unless you write and submit. Believing you should write X number of pages or words every day or every week or even every month is a value. Believing you should attend conferences is a value. Believing you should serve on the board of your local RWA Chapter or volunteer for committees is a value. When we apply our values to others, we run the risk of becoming judgmental and that is never helpful.

So, let me ask again how can we help our fellow writers that are struggling in that “slough of despond”?

I submit to you that the answer includes encouraging them while at the same time respecting the path they must travel as a writer and striving not to apply our values to their journey.